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Every board has its own unique personality. We don't expect to fit everyone out there. We hope that members feel at home here. We also do not expect that one board will meet all of any member's needs. Many of our members belong to additional MS support forums.

We do ask that our members follow the rules listed here, in order to ensure a safe, trusting environment.




Rules of the Board:


Treat everyone with dignity and respect
A large variety of topics are posted here. Some topics will be controversial in nature. We expect that and we want to be able to discuss sensitive topics, and receive honest and open feedback. We do expect that these disagreements be handled with maturity. If there are posts that are less than respectful, our moderators will step in.

We also prohibit flaming, spamming, baiting, sockpuppeting, or trolling. Standard message board etiquette is expected.

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This is a private board
Gray Matters MS is a private board, and as such, it is forbidden for any member to make public any content within this site. Any member which chooses to breach our trust in this manner will find themselves immediately banned from the site, with no warning.

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Believe the best of each other
Let's keep an open mind as we communicate with each other. We are all doing the best we can to deal with this disgusting, debilitating, degenerating disease that will always be present in our lives.

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Our moderators are here to keep the balance
From time to time, our moderators will step in to ensure we maintain our civilized, cultured, enlightened, and sophisticated environment.
Mods may occasionally edit a post, but this will be accompanied by a PM to the owner of the post, explaining the need for the edit.

Mods may also find the need to PM a member, for example, if the member is habitually posting in an overly aggressive manner.

Moderators may also "break up" a post into smaller paragraphs, to make it easier to read. Some of us have eye trouble, and the smaller paragraphs really make a difference. Also, you may find that a moderator will "merge" your posts together. We tend to prefer a larger post to several smaller ones.

Our mods are NOT here to censor our members, or to police the topics under discussion. They are here to keep the balance, so that all of our members may enjoy our board.

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No personal attacks
It is unacceptable to personally attack a member. Name calling is off limits. It is appropriate to post contrary opinions, and it is acceptable to post disagreements in a strong manner. It is NOT acceptable to criticize another member for any reason. Make your posts about the topic, not the member.

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Respect other points of view
Disagreements are expected, and not discouraged here. It is not acceptable, however, to belittle someone's point of view. We do not have to agree with each other to support each other.

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About comparing symptoms....
We certainly are going to ask, "do you have this?" or "Who has this kind of thing?" And it's ok to find out if your or your loved one's bladder issues are more extreme than someone else's.

It is NOT appropriate, however, to compare symptoms with respect to determining a person's worthiness or deservedness of a benefit or advantage.

No one should question their right to be here, or their rights to any benefits they might have. And no one should question another's rights to these as well.

We all deal with varying symptoms, and varying degrees of those symptoms. Some of us deal with "MS Lite" and others of us deal with more debilitating afflictions. Many people with MS have symptoms that vary from day to day, even hour to hour. Only each individual knows how their MS affects them in their daily life.

We all have MS in our lives. That's what it's about.

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Cite your source regarding public figures

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Follow board policy for issue escalations
If you find yourself having a problem with another member, we ask that your first step be to send a private message (PM) to that member, to come to an understanding together. We are adults, and we should be able to handle most things one on one. A common occurrence is that a member sees something offensive in a reply to a post they have made. It's easy to take things personally, and it is very difficult to discern tone or intent in a written message. Additionally, many of our members are suffering cognitive effects from this disease, making communication even more difficult.

We prefer that members contact one another to work out differences, but we also understand that some members may be too uncomfortable to do so. In these cases, members may PM any of our moderators instead.

If two members are unable to arrive at a resolution, the next step is for them to both contact a moderator.

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If we really have to, we may ask a member to leave
It is our hope that it doesn't happen, but sadly, we may find it necessary to ask a member to leave the board. This is an extreme action, and will be done only as a last resort, if moderator efforts via PM's consistently fail to resolve the issue. As such, it will never come as a surprise to a member that they are banned.

The single exception to this rule is if a member chooses to make public any content from within this site. Gray Matters MS has zero tolerance for this offense, and it will result in immediate banning of the guilty party, with no prior warning. We will fiercely protect our privacy, in order to ensure a trusting environment.

Our mods will make every effort to help our members continue to benefit from and contribute to the community. Please help them in this undertaking.

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Loopholes?
We at Gray Matters MS are sure that some users will "find" loopholes in these rules, and insist on behavior which is not explicitly prohibited in the rule texts. This is as juvenile as a child insisting it should be ok for them to empty every box of cereal in the house onto the kitchen floor, protesting, "but you didn't tell me NOT to!" when punished for the act. The reality is, "treat everyone with dignity and respect" covers a lot of ground.

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